Fulfillment Beyond the Plate: Embracing Pleasure in Every Aspect of Life
Have you ever paused to consider how much room pleasure has in your life? We talk a lot about survival, success, and sacrifice. But what about the simple joy of feeling good, just for the sake of it?
Today, I want to explore fulfillment beyond the plate. Why? Because for many years, I found joy and satisfaction primarily in food. Yet, despite eating to my heart's content, there were times when my cravings still couldn't be satisfied. The truth is, no matter how much I ate, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was missing.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that when I make room for pleasure and joy in life, not just through food, but in all areas, I feel truly fulfilled.
The Allure of Suffering
For many years, I prioritized suffering and sacrifice. Maybe it was because suffering was something I knew well. I didn’t need to look far. Just a glance at the women around me, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, told me everything I needed to know. These women had achieved incredible things in their careers and life. They excelled, surpassed expectations, and broke boundaries. And, most often, they were celebrated for their ability to endure hardship with remarkable strength and grace.
But what made suffering seem so alluring? Why was it so revered?
For a long time, I felt like a wide-eyed child drawn into its vortex. I believed that if I could endure enough, I too would be recognized, appreciated, and valued.
The Search for Joy Amidst Pain
I even pursued higher education to understand the depths of suffering. In graduate school, I studied social oppression at the intersection of race, class, gender, and sexual inequality. I learned to see, write, and speak about these struggles. I could even explain, in my sleep, how these forces shaped the life chances of Black people.
Yet, amidst all this intellectual and emotional labor, a part of me longed to experience something else. I yearned for something that didn’t involve pain or hardship.
Interestingly, this desire felt wrong. It felt forbidden.
Dare I say the “s” word? Yes, pleasure! It almost felt sinful to embrace.
Reclaiming Pleasure with Help from My Ancestors
But then I felt a whisper, a voice from my ancestors urging me to lean into pleasure and joy.
Doing things that simply felt good became a small liberatory act.
For example, creating floral arrangements, and placing colors and textures together just because it felt right, became an intentional, joyful practice.
Moving from Survival to Beauty
But for a long time, I couldn't embrace joy.
Even though I’ve always loved plants, for years, I focused only on growing food. I remember saying to my mother, “Why do you plant flowers? We can’t eat them!”
Everything in my life had to fulfill some practical or survival-based purpose. Did this food nourish me? Did it save me money or improve my health? Did it give me the energy to keep going? These were all good questions. But rarely did I ask myself, “How can I experience guilt-free pleasure with food?” Or more broadly, “How can I invite joy into my life without feeling guilty?”
The Shift: From Guilt to Guilt-Free Pleasure
The sad truth is, I didn’t make space for beauty. I didn’t nurture that side of myself. If I added flowers to my garden, it was because I wanted them to attract pollinators.
Watching butterflies flutter or smelling the delicate fragrance of a bloom is essential to my well-being and spiritual nourishment. However, I often saw the pollinators and plants as workers, existing to serve a function. If they didn’t fulfill their “role,” I didn’t value them.
Acknowledging the Role of Labor in Self-Worth
With all my training in suffering, leaning into pleasure was not easy. It felt uncomfortable, even guilt-inducing. Pleasure requires me to be present in my body--to feel, to experience, and to be alive. And honestly, I would much rather stay in my head.
What If? Reclaiming My Body
But what if?
What if being fully alive means trusting my body to feel pleasure? What if it means co-creating safe spaces to experience joy, freedom, and connection in my body?
This idea feels both liberating and terrifying, especially for anyone who has experienced body trauma or any form of harm. For me, it’s been a journey of relearning how to be at home in my body, after years of believing my body wasn’t truly mine.
Plants as Gentle Partners in Reclaiming Sovereignty
In this process, plants have become gentle partners. Slowly, through their presence, I’m reawakening to the idea that my body is mine to reclaim. When I touch a leaf, admire the beauty of a bloom, or inhale the fragrance of a flower, I’m reconnecting with my sense of sovereignty and joy.
The Power of Sensory Fulfillment
Recently, I’ve started adding culinary herbs like basil, sage, mint, and parsley to my floral arrangements. Incorporating herbs into my bouquets adds a layer of aromatherapy and fulfillment beyond the plate. These herbs not only elevate the beauty of my arrangements, but they also serve as a reminder that pleasure can be experienced in many forms.
A Challenge for You: Make Space for Pleasure
So, here’s my challenge to you:
In your own life, how can you make room for guilt-free satisfaction?
How can you invite joy into your body and soul, without judgment or restraint?
When we allow ourselves to experience joy, we unlock something far more powerful than we might expect, an enduring sense of fulfillment.
Cultivate Fulfillment Beyond the Plate
Below are three tips to cultivate fulfillment beyond the plate.
1. Engage Your Senses
Pleasure is rooted in our senses. Whether it’s savoring a cup of coffee, taking a walk and noticing the colors, textures, and sounds of nature, or indulging in a favorite scent, consciously engaging with your senses can bring more joy. Try this: Set aside a few minutes each day to do something that delights your senses like enjoying a fragrant flower, listening to music that moves you, or relishing a favorite treat.
2. Cultivate Small Moments of Joy
Joy doesn’t always need to come from big experiences or achievements. It can be found in the small, everyday moments. For example, consider the comfort of cozying up with a good book, enjoying a few minutes of quiet, or taking a break to simply breathe and stretch. Try adding small rituals to your day that make you feel good, like lighting a candle in the morning, adding a splash of color to your space, or taking a 5-minute dance break.
3. Practice Self-Care Without Guilt
Guilt often gets in the way of allowing ourselves to enjoy simple pleasures, especially in a world that values productivity over rest. Start by giving yourself permission to prioritize your well-being without feeling guilty. Whether it’s a warm bath, a nap, or just a few minutes of silence, self-care can be a deeply pleasurable experience that nourishes both body and mind. Try this: Schedule one small act of self-care each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes, and focus on enjoying it without any "shoulds" or distractions.
These practices, though simple, can help you reconnect with the pleasure and joy that’s already available to you in everyday life.
#PleasureBeyondThePlate #BodySovereignty #FindingJoy #LiberationThroughPleasure #HealingAndGrowth
Pleasure practice: Arranging flowers from my garden.