Four Lessons My Dad Taught Me in the Kitchen about Leadership & Wellness
When I was 12 years old, my father called me into the kitchen to teach me how to cook.
I didn't want to be in the kitchen. I was focused on school, grades, and big dreams for my career and future. In my young mind, cooking felt unrelated to success. At the time, I was learning that academic achievement was key to my future, especially as a girl.
In addition to investing in my academic and professional goals, my dad also saw something that I couldn't yet understand. He said, "One day you will need to feed your husband and family." I pushed back with this response. "One day I plan to marry a chef."
Looking back, I realize now that those simple lessons in the kitchen planted seeds. These culinary seeds continue to shape my life, my work, and how I think about care as well as leadership, voice, and equity. The kitchen became a classroom and my father was teaching more than recipes.
Here are four lessons that continue to stay with me:
Lesson 1: Nourishment is Leadership
At 12, I thought cooking was just about making dinner.
Now, I see it differently.
What we eat fuels far more than our bodies. Nourishing and wholesome meals fuel our brains, our decision-making, our emotional regulation, and even our leadership capacity. For example, foods such as walnuts, leafy green vegetables, lean protein, and fruits like berries can have a direct impact not only on physical health but also on enhancing brain power.
In teaching me to cook, my dad was teaching me skills that I could use to sustain focus, care for myself, care for others, and show up well in both personal and professional spaces.
Lesson 2: Care Work Belongs to Everyone
Perhaps one of the most meaningful parts of these lessons was who else was beside me at the stove: my twin brother.
My father didn't just teach his daughter to cook. He taught his son as well. Looking back, I recognize this as a quiet but powerful step towards equity.
In many households, especially in past generations, care work like cooking was assigned largely to women. Things have gotten better, but women continue to carry much of the culinary workload, even as many juggle work demands.
But in my father's kitchen, both my brother and I were expected to learn how to nourish others. It was a small but important message: feeding others is not "women's work." It is a human responsibility and a form of leadership every person should carry or contribute in some way. It could be something as simple as washing the dishes, contributing to theplanning of the meal, or going to the grocery store. Everyone has a role in helping with the cooking workload.
Lesson 3: Voice Can Have Room, Even in Authority
There was also a lesson about voice.
When my father called me into the kitchen and told me, "One day, you'll need to feed your husband and family," I pushed back and told him, "I plan to marry a chef."
My father was a commanding figure. He was a strong leader both inside and outside our home. But I knew I had just enough room to voice my opinion. Even though I still had to cook that day, I knew he was listening.
Looking back, I see how important that small space was.
Even in his authority, there was room for humor, resistance, and dialogue. That balance became an early practice in holding my own, even in the presence of power.
In a world where many face leadership models that silent dissent or discourage autonomy, those early moments shaped my understanding of what healthy authority can look like. Healthy authority can be firm, but not rigid. It can be directive, but still receptive. Healthy authority can be strong, but not silencing.
Lesson 4: Simple Skills Sustain Busy Lives
Today, as a professional, a spouse, and someone who supports others in reclaiming their own wellness, I see how valuablesimple, adaptable recipes can be.
My dad taught me how to make a recipe similar to goulash. It included pasta, canned corn beef, onions, tomatoes, and spices. I've made it my own with a few alterations. Now I include more vegetables, swapping in lean proteins or plant-based options, using chickpea or whole-grain pasta for fiber and steady energy, and seasoning with salt-free spice blends that support heart health.
These small changes make it easier to nourish myself and my family, even during the busiest seasons of work and life.
My Version of Dad's Recipe
You can find my updated brain-friendly version of my dad's goulash recipe here:
A Legacy On and Beyond the Plate
Father's Day allows us to reflect on the quiet ways parents shape us. My dad may have simply been trying to make surehis children could feed themselves and loved ones one day. But in doing so, he also handed down lessons about care, leadership, voice, and equity that continue to feed my work on life.
Sometimes the kitchen teaches us more than we expect.
Happy Father's Day.
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